One week down here in Chi-town

One week down here in Chicago. And three more to go :) I really wonder what it's gonna be like, but it's not as scary now after i know what to except. Plus i know all the people i work with and lovveee them. They are all such nice therapist/doctors. I am blessed.

This weekend was a tough one. my first test of pacing my self at home...didn't go so well. It could have been worse. I've been living with not being able to pace myself for..ya know the past 3 years. I've so used to being able to DO things ALL the time growing up. This is an awful challenge for me. I know i need to learn it. But it gets me frusterated the extreme of pacing i have to learn with my nerve condition. I need to wrap my brain around the fact that it won't always be like this. Pacing will slowing increase in my tasks and amount of time. Gotta remember that. I was given guidelines for the weekend and was doing really well until saturday night came along.  I was only to be out 2 hours or less at a time, and i stayed at the 2nd grad party for longer, but i thought i was doing well because i didn't go to the third party late at night. But what else is new..listening to the doctors does make you better off. The next day (today) was not so good. not too good. Got better later on PRAISE THE LORD.


So...while i am here i am to "start getting in touch with my feelings" bleah. Not fun. I hate that part. But I have had some really angry/upset moments so i must be getting better...ishhh?  I want to be able to enjoy college. I won't be able to depend on my parents and family anymore. I don't know how i could do this unless it gets better. Gosh i have such little faith...actually that's not it. Just college has made me realize, what if God doesn't have it planned for me to get much better? I am certain the RIC is going to help me. no doubt. But how much? that's the million dollar question. For the end of my senior year it allowed hope. So crucial. And now, the program taught me great tools and is gonna help improve my function. Plus i only have one week done. I am SO excited to continue. this is a great program. I think the biggest thing is going to be applying everything to my life after i leave Chi-town. Yeahhhh. If i do well adapting this program to my life i know this can change my life :) And the doctor feels he can really do a lot for me here. He feels confident, which make me very excited.
I'm leaving after venting all my doubts, by saying God has used my nerve condition for more could than i could ever fathom. He will continue this Grace for the rest of my life. And most importantly if i look for Him, i know i can always find Him even while i'm in the darkest valley. I am excited to see how he works in the rest of this "boot camp" and how things will improve thus far. And soon in my new chapter at UW- La Crosse. :)

Peace,
Erin

Happy times, Praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Every moments, thank God